On Ratatouille and life...

I like cartoons. Good ones, those that impart values of life. Gargoyles, Winnie the Pooh, Mickey Mouse, the good old Transformers and even X-Men, just to name a few.

Been watching re-runs of old cartoons. Don't know why, but felt extremely sombre after watching a re-run of Ratatouille. No, it's not about mice infecting a restaurant, it's about re-thinking life. Honestly speaking, one could consider Ego (the food critic) to be extremely "cheesy"-- if I may be allowed to use a slang. He talks about how his own values were impacted by a mere mouse who showed him, that indeed "any one can cook". What's more important, is the fundamental judgement we pass onto others based on their social status, appearance or perhaps, even societal norms.

What is being challenged here is judgement passed based on a prescribed identity-- a mouse; prescribed identity: vermin; dirty, disease carrier. Well, true to a large extent. However, there is an exception in this story. Remy, different. Born with a special talent, but misunderstood, and unhappy because he cannot comprehend within himself his prescribed identity and what he aspires. Tough.

Set me thinking about education. Kids come to us from all walks of life. Some are definitely more fortunate than others. I have seen many with great talent, but often misunderstood and most of the time, lost. I am limited in my ability to help, and as age catches up, I find myself losing the patience and the compassion to help. Sad. All I can do is sit here and philosophize about it, hate myself. It's high time I re-think my life too.

In my grand quest for a meaning to "life"- in case you missed it, do you not detect the cynicism? LOL, my humble conclusion: acceptance. It was until Remy found that acceptance, that he was at peace with himself and the world. That set me thinking about my teaching-- it's not how well I can teach, it's what I am teaching; what is really worth remembering?

Disparities...

It's either me or just coincidence. But after so many years, I am beginning to think it's more likely something to do with me. What am I talking about? I have this affinity to attract students with special needs. I can be teaching the best class in the school, and I will students who are dyslexic, or hyperactive, autistic etc.. See? It's me. Not complaining. I wish I had more time for these kids. And there are moments that I get angry with my own boy for being lazy when he is capable to do so much more.

I am currently doing a workshop in a local primary school. Working with the weak classes. I have been talking with the teacher about her class. She is a wonderful teacher, done a whole lot of good. The kids are slow but she is more concerned about teaching them values and what it means to have positive self esteem. The kids are sad. Young 10 year old, some even younger, not 10 yet, primary 3. Most come from dysfunctional families, economically deprived, plus a whole lot of problems. They don't even know what's M and Ms. In today's Singapore, that's pretty rare.

A boy caught my attention in particular. Rather unkempt, dirty school uniform, quiet most times but rather mischievous. I thought he played too hard during recess, that's why the state of the uniform, but when he came to school early in the morning still in the dirty shirt, I knew it's his family conditions. My heart went out to him. Not cared for, clothes not washed properly. For a growing child, that's sad. How would he feel? I would certainly feel inferior? Ashamed? My friend might laugh at me, shun me, because I am "dirty".

Kids are innocent. We all have little choice on how our lives begin, and when we were young, it is so important to be able to feel safe and loved. Choice is indeed a privilege, and in his case, it is one that he does not have. I salute the teacher for the great job she is doing, providing that little warmth and hope to these young lives. Sometimes you really don't have to do much, a cup of plain water given to quench a person's thirst will go very far. I always remembered this friend, in fact, she is a friend's friend. i remembered her after all these years, because I was very sick one day, that was when I was still in the University. I went to school anyway because there was this big important session we had to attend regarding our thesis. I was in our Home Room, sniffing away and she came up to me, gave me a tissue and a cup of warm water. Call me sentimental, I was so touched I almost cried. I guess i was feeling really lousy, and her attention and a simple gesture warm me. I don't know what became of her, but after all these years, I m grateful for that cup of water. Today, I hope I can have the same impact on these young lives.

Finally, back in action

It's been a while since I updated this blog. The reason: busy. Funny how this word gets to be a very acceptable reason.

I am now busy reading, very slowly, but reading this book on logic in deductive sciences, and Math. It seems that for all these years, we have been learning Math incorrectly-- we focus on the details and bypass the important big concepts.

It was tough having to help Math teachers look at their area of teaching expertise, and help them to sift out the big concepts that govern all the Math teaching going on in schools. I had nightmares of jumping numbers, seriously. I am really appreciative of my boss and my buddy chipping in to help-- gave me wonderful ideas to work with. The most interesting part is that both of them have "Math phobia". They went through minimum 10 years of Math education, with one of them scoring pretty well in her tests and exams, but in retrospect, finds that they have all forgotten what they had learnt. Learning has no relevance other than exams. The key here would be to find the relevance in learning, and given a fast changing world we are living in, this is something worth pondering upon. It is all the more important to me, being both a mother and an educator.

I need to move on in my reading. I might just share some interesting insights. Until then, it's time to hit the sack.

I think I am still getting used to this blogging thing. Feels funny writing a public diary. But it's a good way to keep touch with friends. I hope so, thus far, other than my faithful husband and Jac, I am the only one who reads my blog. Then again, don't have too many friends to begin with.

It's been a hectic week, one deadline after another. Sleep has become a stranger, and when it comes, it felt unnatural. I told myself it's "the time of the year", bad patch, rush hour etc.. Finally I took a short break in the cab, on my way home from work today. I fell asleep because my eyes just couldn't keep open. In that short quiet moment, I remember Psalm 46:10:

Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

The taxi went over a bump and I woke up. How true, I rush around all day, striving to meet all sorts of deadlines but not taking a moment to think through about what I am doing and why. I asked myself again today, "Why am I doing my Masters? Why am I working?" You know what is the scary part? I don't quite seem to know. Other then very real pragmatic reasons, there is nothing more to it. Maybe it's high time I re-think my life, well, been re-thinking for the last 20 years, not too good at thinking I guess.

I have decided I will do what is important-- spend time on things that count-- friends, family, God. I will still work, study, do the mundane things of life, but have to seriously think about why I am doing them...don't want to rush through life, what's the point?

These days, this seems to be the sticky note that I see on my desk most of the time. When I was younger, I was taught not to fall victim to the tyranny of the urgent. But now it seems everything is important, I really wonder how we differentiate?

I was doing my reading for my E-Learning course.

"An 'AHA' moment occurred for me in my ESL composition classroom a few semesters ago. My students were into Instant Messaging (IM), Blogging, and Internet Relay Chat (IRC) Gaming. It suddenly dawned on me, an avid technology user and consumer, that I was no longer on the cutting edge." (Malley, Susan B., 2006)

That was how I felt when I was going through all the possibilities that Web 2.0 holds for education. A lot of these tools have been around for a while, like wikis, blogs, search engines etc.. But I have never thought of using them to the fullest of their potential in an education aspect. I have always limited active learning to simulation conditions, especially in the area of gaming, and this 2 days had opened my eyes to great possibilities with some of these very basic tools. I had thought I was pretty "up-to-date" for someone my age, but this generation is running so much faster than we can even imagine.

Come to think about it, many times when we get some technology that is really "cutting edge", do we really make full use of them? I remember in those days when I was an administrator for IT equipment in a school, I found it really funny that we were issued new, cutting edge lap tops with the most up-to-date technology, USB ports, firewire etc..but the OS installed was Win 95, because the network was running on Win 95. Most of these hardware was left unused. To me, the laptop never realise its full potential.

As I design my lesson this round, I remind myself constantly, and thanks to a good friend, who reminded me that what's most important is the purpose of the lesson, that the technology I employed need not be top of the rack, but it must definitely fulfilled the educational purpose. The purpose of education? To nurture "thinkers", who will become creators of knowledge.

Still Constructing...

I took this picture when I was running a programme at a campsite in Singapore. First, I like the greenery, second, I thought the pink smiley face was cute. I wasn't feeling too good that day, and that face helped to cheer me up a bit. Sometimes it takes only a smile to get another person through a bad patch... Okay, I am in one of my "philosophical" mood.

Why do I call this blog "the unbelievable"? Because I am writing in English. Attempting to write in English. I do apologize for the many grammar mistakes that glare at you.

Why am I doing this? Perhaps to be more in tune with the new generation. I am a technophile in many ways, technology excites me. However, the rate at which it is moving forward sometimes scares me too. I am still thinking what I should put down on my blog. Two things motivated me to do this: the Master in Education course unit I am doing, and an ex-student of mine. Maybe I should find an outlet to reflect on my own learning journey.

For a start, I am getting used to the idea of learning as a student again. Academic practice seems so far off, until 2 days ago. I find that I am enjoying it. Yes, I like studying, I enjoy learning. It excites me, as much as technology. Sometimes I wonder why I did not do well in school when I was younger. I guess it's not too fair to blame the teachers entirely, but in today's context, teachers play an important role in helping kids see the relevance in their learning. I am an educator myself, and I never knew the impact we can have on the kids that we meet in class everyday till recently, when I met up with an ex-student of mine, that I taught some 13 years back. I read her blog; her little reflection on her meeting up with me. I am deeply touched, and I finally understood the impact we can have on an individual's life, and how after many years, it still lingers on.

Providing a link here to her blog http://monkeycrab.blogspot.com/2009/02/teacher-and-student.html . She scribbled her little story on Feb 10 09, "teacher and student". I hope you don't mind Jac, do allow your ex-teacher here an opportunity to flaunt her successes, lol. For now, I shall end here. And I am happy now because my 6-year old daughter just gave me a hug and said, "I love you, mummy." Small successes.